I don't know how, but 13 different people have come to my website last month by searching "jehovahs witness 144000". My first piece of advice for these people is to learn how to punctuate, but aside from that I though I'd share a interesting tidbit about the witnesses for all you curious googlers.
I'd like to start out by identifying the significance of the number 144,000. That is the magic number of witness's that get to go to heaven, they are considered "the anointed". The problem therein is the fact that each year worldwide, the jehovah's witnesses grow by about 300,000 (give or take 30,000). This means that heaven will become more and more privy, and if Jesus doesn't hurry his butt up... the chances of a witness being considered "anointed" will drop to a very low non zero percent. Even today with about three million witnesses out and about, the chance of a particular witness getting to heaven is about 4.8% or 1:21 odds. Even if you only counted those active in preaching and missionary work (estimated 500,000) your chances of getting into heaven end up falling between 1:3 and 1:4 odds. Simply put, your average witness isn't likely to end up in heaven.
"What happens to all the other witnesses?" you may ask. They stay on the earth forever, but is becomes a narnian-esque paradise version of its former self. Not a bad deal, but you do kind of get cut short. Chances are a friend or two of yours will have made it in heaven but you get cut a raw deal, and I'd imagine that would put a damper on a few peoples paradise. As for the witness's version of hell, there isn't one. Everyone is simply wiped from the earth.
Also for fun, check out the cards at the new humanist (the image is a link):
[I know it says 6,000,000... I'm not sure who's numbers are right, to be honest]
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9 comments:
Those of Jehovah's Witnesses who are looking forward to a future enjoying life on a paradise don't feel shortchanged in any way. How could they? Humans were created with a desire to live a peaceful fulfilling l ife right here on Earth. With life on this earth restored to its original beautiful perfection, populated by people who don't commit violence? With a life filled with meaningful work, good friends, plenty to eat, comfortable homes? Jehovah's Witnesses are not vying for inclusion in a select group of 144,000 (those of which are sacrificing life on earth forever to serve in heaven). It's not up to humans to win a vote or garner an invitation to heaven. That isn't the goal.
How disrespectful for you to speak of Jesus "getting his butt in gear". You should be ashamed of your words.
Perhaps you should get the facts before expressing your opinions.
Ahh... but "the meek shall inherit the earth"
The truth is, I don't want to go to heaven- I don't belong there. I belong here on the earth- it is where man was created to live- and it is where the bible says we will live.
The 144,000, according to Revelation (which is where that number comes from) are taken from the earth to rule as kings and priests over the earth with Jesus Christ. Who better to govern us than beings who know first hand what it is like to be one of us?
Promises Jesus made for a resurrection- as he demonstrated with Lazarus, was a coming back to life- as a living human being.
Haven't you lost someone in death that you would like to see come back the same way Jesus brought back Lazarus?
The resurrection is not exclusive of those who did not live according to bible standards... the bible promises a resurrection of the righteous and the unrighteous.
I know that, because most Christian groups say that all good people go to heaven, that is seems that Jehovah's Witnesses lack math skills. But we do not go by the teachings of churches. We follow the teachings of the bible.
Hey, Enshoku, enjoyed your blog. When their religion started, JWs were taught they were ALL going to heaven in 1914 when God brings Armageddon. Of course, there was only a handful of them back then. So hardly anyone else noticed they were wrong. The 'Faithful and Wise Servant,' Charles ('Butterfly') Russell then said they would all be taken up in 1915. Wrong again. Then he died.
They'd been told they were all real special, 'cos Jehovah God was only taking 144,000 to heaven, and THEY were The Chosen Ones, the Only True Christians. Just keep selling the books, brethren, 4 for $1 (which was quite a lot in those days). This was a mighty appealing message and the numbers started growing real fast. So fast there was a danger of running out of golden tickets for the anointed. Can't have that, they might stop selling these there books of ours.
So the new leader, Jo ('Judge') Rutherford came up with a great wheeze. The gates of heaven are closing, but the rest of you can still live forever. It'll be like heaven on earth. Paradise. So the faithful bought it - and kept selling the books. And that's how ol' Jo kept his Cadillacs.
There's also a neat sting in the tail of this story. Recently even the brainwashed JWs were starting to worry something was wrong, 'cos 'ol Armageddon sure was late a-coming. So the leaders (nowadays they're all SAP, executives and management committees) decided God had made a mistake and hadn't closed the pearly gates after all; we're all friends, so who's counting anyway. And in a stroke of genius, they decreed Jehovah God won't bring Armageddon while there are still Anointed Ones living on earth. Yippee!
And that, friends, is the beauty of religion: never mind the messy facts, just have faith, just Believe. And of course, keep selling the books.
BTW, I used to be a JW myself (regular pioneer, Bethelite, elder) but now I'm an atheist and humanist (and a far happier and nicer person as a result).
@anne
You honestly expect me to be ashamed for making a point through mockery? The problem is that there is a population fallacy within the organization. In truth, if Jesus doesn't get his butt in gear, heaven will inevitably have to raise its standards for spot placement. By 2108(based on current numbers), the witnesses numbers will be great enough that chances of a individual witness getting into heaven will be under .35 percent. I honestly believe that if the religion is true, there are more than 35 of 1000 wishing to serve their lord in heaven. Also, it seemed to me that you were doing a bit of special pleading in the case of Jesus, as I mocked other things as well. Just a note for everyone, I am not going to spare criticism or smarmy quips towards anyone, be it George Bush, Jesus, Mohammad, or Obama.
@the one
First of all, let me say that I am a big fan. You managed to singlehandedly save zion twice, and the fact that you can fly is awesome. Enough fan-boyishness though, now on to your post;
I want to start y saying that I don't think the jehovah's witnesses lack math skills. Mainline christians tend to go with the "12 tribes of israel, squared then multiplied by 1000", which has fuck all evidence from what I can tell, but doesn't run into this population fallacy. As described in my last comment, the problem with this is the fact that our population (and witness numbers) are growing to a point where even the most pious witness you know won't be deserving of worshiping your god.
And as for whether or not I'd like to see a loved one get resurrected, of course I would. I think its bat shit insane to assume that it will happen, but I believe that there is nary a man alive who wouldn't wish to have someone come back. It would be nice to imagine Socrates, Sagan, and Carlin to come back too but I'm afraid I see no extra-biblical evidence to believe that its possible.
@It support
Thanks for your comment, and your story (I'd recommend saving that, it isn't badly written). Believe it or not, your story reminds me of that of an ex-mormon I know. I just realized that we have finally reached an era in history where no new religion can be created, without being easily shown to be fabricated. If a new subdivision of Christianity was created right now by a "prophet", chances are he wouldn't be able to last long. Congrats on being happier as a result of leaving the church, but I can't imagine it was easy...especially for a baptized bethelite(I know its redundant) in particular.
@ it support
i don't think you should become an atheist. I'm a jehovah witness and I rather you believe go into other religions because in my opinions i think there are three main religions that are definately right at what they say. they are:
#1. Jews
#2.muslims
#3.christians
I rather you believe in god than just forget about him (just because you think you're happier.) Well, you won't be happy when the armageddon comes and you'll be destroyed.
If you just want to believe in god still and not be in any religion, just get an old testament bible, and read the real truth, that will make you happy. Instead of just giving up, find a solution....Duh!!!
I completely and utterly agree with the wonderful Anne, can't you see the only reason we preach our good news of the future paradise is because we want to share our wonderful hope for the future with everyone.
What sin have we commited against you Enshoku that you feel the urge to swear at us and to drag our religion through the mud? I don't know what experiences you have had in the past but I don't think you should be congratulating IT Support from leaving the truth.
If IT Support was everything he says he was then their must have been something worldly that changed his mind. If he does not believe in God anymore then there must have been a senario where he needed help from Jehovah and he felt Jehovah didn't give it. Well in my opinion you should have never given up hope.
But there is still time IT Support, you may feel happier now but you can't possibly feel the satisfaction of doing something worth while with you're life.
Enshoku I'm am most certainly not yelling at you or having a go, I just see it as 'why us' honestly what have Jehovah's Witnesses done to you to make you so anti-witness?
Yes it is true that in 1914 Jehovah's Witnesses had their facts wrong but through reading the scriptures carefully and praying continuously we now understand that we are living in the last days of this system, yes only 144,000 are going to heaven to rule along side Jesus but personally I am much happier knowing I will live on Paradise Earth where my family will be resurrected and be with me.
The annointed were chosen years ago and we know who they are as they have such a wonderful personality and thirst for knowledge of Jehovah, yes their family's will never see them again once they die and go to heaven but having the knowledge that they will be looking down on us and ruling the world give their family peace of mind.
IT Support I understand you're conclusion to Witnesses but as you were and elder you of all people should know how our community works and should know that although Jehovah's Witnesses got it wrong in the past, we are all imperfect and do make mistakes but when you read God's word you can see that everything thats going on in the world its happen through prophecy and it all makes sense in the scriptures. Please don't give up hope of God IT Support.
Enshoku I apolgise if I sound pushy or something, I have no intention of it. I just wanted to state a few truths and hopefully make you understand a bit more about Jehovah's Witnesses and what we do. You don't ahve to agree with me and you don't have to like Jehovah's Witnesses but all I ask is that you stop dragging our name through the mud without completely understanding what it is we do.
Thank you for allowing me to express myself. I am very proud to call myself a Witness of Jehovah.
I feel that the data provided was helpful and very matter of fact. But really, why does Jesus have to take so long to get this thing going. I am curious what age I would get to come back to earth as. If my dad wants to come back as a horny 16 year-old and I want to come back as a robust 33 year-old man do I get to get first dibs on the biggest piece of meat? Also, If I am going to lounge and be all friendly with lamas, lions, and cattle, should I eat the ones I don't cuddle with? Is there a rule on that? One of the biggest thing I like about life on earth is a juicy piece of steak. I am upset when my fellow witnesses react by being offended to this blog because the source is anger, and anger is ungodly and not "true, pure, and of god report; think of these things." Oh shucks, I just kinda did bad be even thinking about you thinking about it. Dang! I will see you guys plowing the fields and picking vegetables on earth for eternity. Love, Alex
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